I think I can, I think I can

100 lbs.

I've said that's my goal. That's the amount of weight I want (need) to lose. I started swimming this past summer, usually about 1/4mile a day. I can get that done in just over 20 minutes. Not a competitive time, but not slow as a turtle, either. We'll say it's a respectable time, especially for someone 100 lbs overweight.

But I realize that I need to do more, especially in the "non-swimming" seasons. I want to start biking again, and I want to start running. Wait. I do NOT want to start running. I HATE running. And yet, I want to start running. I want to compete in adventure races. That requires running. I also want to compete in Disney races. Not because I want to run, but because I want to run in Disney parks. That requires running.

I used to run, in high school. Ok, I used to do everything possible to get out of running, but the thing is, I COULD run. I would do everything from a 1/2 mile to a 5k (let's hear it for the Kudzu run!). I know that I could do it once upon a time. All I need to do is start doing it again now. But that starting part.....that's a tough one.

I just read Jonathan's story. I got to "know" Jonathan when I was in a Disney withdrawal, and started searching for Disney podcasts. Jonathan, until very recently, was the cohost of the All About The Mouse Disney podcast. Every day while at work, I have been listening to the archives of the show, and an oft heard theme of the podcast was training for various Disney races. I won't tell all the details, but basically, this man started out at 380 lbs, training to run a half marathon!!! He's been going strong for about 3 years now, and he struggles sometimes. I have to be honest....it's kind of nice, seeing that he struggles. And that he's truthful about it. Weight control has never been easy for me, and it is hard to be surrounded by people who have never struggled with weight.

My weight gain has never been about extreme overeating, or doing nothing but sitting on a couch playing video games. When I was in high school, I was an athlete. Not a great one, but one, nonetheless. I played basketball (hey, my parents are from Indiana), was in marching band for two years, was on the track team for two years, I coached basketball with my dad, I did training runs with friends in the off season, I was in the water every change I got. I was a 185lb size 14. Not fat, not by any means. But I was never skinny. I have always had the body of a husky athlete. I kept that body for about 3 years after graduation. Then I started suffering from clinical depression and social anxiety, to the point that there were days, even weeks, where I barely got out of bed. I was out of work for 2 years, which only made the situation that much worse. What happens when you lay around all day, rarely venturing outside the house? You gain weight. I hit a consistent 235, and maintained that until 2003. Then, I get serious, and was down to 210, when I lost a cousin, my grandmother and an aunt, all in about 3 months. I gained that 25 lbs back. I kept that consistent 235 until 2005. On July 25, 2005, my father suffered a massive heart attack and passed away. Before I knew it, I hit 298.

I've never hit 300. I refuse to. Over the past two years, I've managed to not hit 300. But I've never truly tried to lose any major amount. I guess I've just gotten comfortable. I hate looking at myself in a mirror, but I don't hate myself enough to do anything.

And then I found Jonathan. Currently, Jonathan has his posted weight as 355. He's been running half-marathons for a few years now. I have to think that if Jonathan can run a half marathon, I can train to run a 5K.  And if you've been reading this blog from the beginning (not much to read, but I'm trying), you'll know that I was supposed to run the WDW 5K a couple of weeks.  That didn't happen.  There were many reasons for that.  Most of them were excuses.  I don't like excuses, but I can't lie and say that I didn't make them.  I made them.  I didn't stay serious about my weight loss.  I didn't keep my goals in front of me.  However, I was also very sick - twice!  And as it turns out, the weather here has been so crappy that it's a good thing I DIDN'T travel to FL, as I would not have been able to get back home for awhile.  We've been hit by snow the likes of which we haven't seen in many, many years.  It's being compared to SnowJam '82.  It was not cool.

So, I'm making new goals.  I want to shoot for one or two local races this year.  I want to run a Disney 5K by next year.  I want to go on atleast 2 scuba trips this year.  I want to lose 50lbs before Dec 31.  That's the ultimate plan, right there.  But let's break it down into slightly more manageable pieces.

Goal #1 for 2011:
LOSE 10lbs BY MARCH